Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
You are here because you think you may be experiencing imposter syndrome. First off, good for you for your growth oriented attitude! Secondly, what does imposter syndrome even mean? Imposter syndrome can look like – never feeling like you are good enough, setting impossibly high standards for yourself, feeling like a fraud, feeling like you need to 'out-do' everyone else and having a huge fear of feedback and any form of rejection. Is this sounding like you? Not to fret, many people face off with imposter syndrome and it is EXTREMELY common.
The majority of professionals confess to having serious imposter syndrome when it comes to their life and work! Often times this is rooted in past experiences from coaches, teachers, parents etc. where we learned that we have to strive for some unrealistic expectation of perfection, to prove ourselves worthy (even think of the grading system and how we are celebrated for achieving As or Bs on our report cards and not as celebrated for getting Cs). So, from an early age we are taught what makes us worthy and what does not. This very arbitrary system of evaluating ourselves and other's intelligence is not a TRUE marker of how amazing we all are. Truly, our personal brilliance and genius can live in ways that is not even ‘academic’. For example, some person’s genius may come out with kinesthetic (golf, running etc.), and another person’s through music, socialization and empathy. So let’s start there, it is important to start questioning how we LEARNED imposter syndrome. And from there, we can start to let it go.
Here are some key questions to ask yourself when you are dealing with imposter syndrome:
Who am I comparing myself to and why?
So let me start with a personal example. When I was going to start my intern year as a Naturopathic doctor, I felt astronomical amounts of imposter syndrome. Who am I as a late twenties something female to walk in and serve as someone’s doctor? So I had to really pull back the lens and think of what a personal example was in my mind. And then I got the image of a grumpy 80 year old man in his chair. This man wasn’t really listening to me or my concerns, he was just kind of glazing me over and writing some haphazard prescription on his pad. What were the characteristics of the doctor I wanted to be? I wanted to be present, attentive and listening, not just writing things on pads! And so, I was able to see that I actually could create my own definition of doctor, and this is when the imposter syndrome started to fade away. Often, our imposter syndrome is coming from a place that isn't even TRUE or Aligned!
When did I ever learn this?
The majority of the time, stories and narratives run through our mind without us even ever knowing where they come from. And then, when we sit and really think about their origin, we gain awareness. This awareness can really help to redirect our thinking. One of my clients was able to make the connection that her Mother was a crazy perfectionist, nothing was ever good enough. So of course this was a learned and internalized thought process for her too. After a few weeks of noticing, she realized that she has actually no desire to be perfect and is happy with the effort she puts into things and this voice that is not hers slowly started to disappear.
A practical tip for imposter syndrome:
One practical tip for imposter syndrome is to call upon your highest level of compassion for yourself. Often times, our inner voice for ourselves is so mean and critical and truly we would never treat a friend like that! So a practical tip for imposter syndrome is to ask yourself, ‘how would I advise a friend’ right now if they were feeling imposter syndrome? Try to zoom out of the situation as if you are watching a movie and see what perspective you can glean. Some of the things that might come to mind are – past experiences that make you unique, traits of your personality that really shine and reminding yourself that preparation and calm breaths are everything. Imposter syndrome cannot be unlearned over-night, but there is a lot that we can do to head into important days and growth times of our life feeling our absolute best!