How to Have More Confidence
I’ll never forget the younger version of me. I always felt so timid and frightful and desperately wanted to be as buoyant and confident as some of the girls I knew, especially the ones on the soccer team. I was full of wonder, curiosity and zest but I just didn’t know how to show up to my outside world with confidence and so I struggled a lot day-to-day, especially at school. It was about the tenth grade that things started to change. Between finding a job that I felt really expressed in, finding some friends who really made me laugh and brought out my silly side and just taking more risks in day to day living, I got to feel what that feeling of having confidence ‘unlock’ was. And since then, I have spent decades working to uncover what confidence is and how to access it at any time. I have gathered up some of these deep discoveries, below…
Getting to know your inner voice:
Our inner voice can be a very sneaky thing. In one moment we can be talking ourselves up and cheering ourselves on and then in the next moment we are talking ourselves down (and maybe even being downright mean to ourselves), again. To be honest, often, we aren’t even tracking how many negative thoughts we have on repeat day in and day out. On a day that is more quiet and mindful, commit to getting to know that inner voice. Just notice the thoughts that come and go in the day – are they kind, loving and supportive? Or how often are you telling yourself mean things (things you would never say to a best friend)! Just this simple act of noticing can be a first step to guiding the mind to simple and more productive thoughts.
Your my 5:
Yep, it is so very true. The people that we hang out around the most are the people that we become. We know that our thoughts, feelings and behaviours become our actions and results, so just think about how the personalities of others are influencing you daily! If you are surrounded by people who believe that entrepreneurship is easy, you will believe that too! If you are surrounded by people who paint a dark and despaired picture of entrepreneurship, that will make of the majority of your beliefs, too.
I remember when I was about to enroll in Naturopathic college in the Fall of 2012 that I interacted with some extended family members who were horrified by what I was about to spend on the education. I went home feeling sad, ashamed and fearful. The next day I was around some very successful holistic doctors who seriously cheered me on and I could see my bright, beautiful future so vividly. I shared the same information within 24 hours and there were some SERIOUSLY different opinions. Choose wisely when it comes to who you surround yourself with because you literally will become the energy that you are around.
It won’t happen without action:
Oh, how nice it would be to have a sparkly fairy come down and one day and then we just wake up with confidence. But, that is not exactly how it works! Confidence is gained (and I supposed we could maybe even say earned) through effort, action and putting ourselves out there (I know, the very thing we hope to avoid is the thing we have to do to breakthrough to the other side!) What usually happens for people is that they stay in cycles in their head on repeat – well, if this happens then how would I feel? And what happens if that happens? AH – freak out – do nothing. So a simple reframe to ask yourself is – what if things went right? And then take that first step towards what you desire. You will not believe the confidence that comes from simply getting started!
Picture yourself on the other side:
One of my favourite techniques to use (and proves to be a favourite technique of my clients), is to picture myself on the other side of the stressful event! So often, our minds get caught up in which step is first e.g. “I will be shaking when I walk onto the stage” or “people will be looking at me and judging me”. But, what if we just focused on ourselves on the other side? Picture yourself leaving that presentation with your shoulders rolled back, chin held high and a big smile on your face (because you are so freaking proud of yourself)! This technique that has us picture ourselves when the scary task is over can major shift our physiology to one that is more calm, peaceful and present.
Confidence is being expressed in body, mind and soul. Wishing you the deepest alignment today and always.
