But What will Other People Think?
When I was deciding to give up my Naturopathic Doctor License, there were many things that prevented me from wanting to move forward (fear of the future, lack of identity etc.) however, there was ONE thing that was truly the highest on my fear list and that was. – “what the HECK are other people going to think of this decision?” Over my last few years of coaching, I have come to learn that this ‘block’ is THE leading block holding almost everyone back from making a big decision. It seems kind of wild to say that out loud, like who REALLY cares what Aunt Layla thinks of your life path, but truly these opinions can feel absolutely paralyzing.
Let’s back up for a minute and get some PERSPECTIVE on the situation.
First off, it is important to ask yourself – do I really want the life that this ‘opinionated person’ has? 99% of the time – the answer is no. So we have to ask ourselves, why do we put so much emphasis on someone’s opinion who we may not even really look up to or want to model after? (I call this looking at your life like a movie director. If you zoom out of the situation and look at it objectively, you can dissolve some of the emotion and just look at it in a practical sense. Do I want the life this person lives? Nope. So, thank you for the opinion! But I am all set following my own intuition. (Thank you & also No Thank you).
The next thing to ask yourself is, am I stuck in the past? Sometimes we don’t want to take a big risk because we have been known all of our life as ‘the dependable one, the safe one, the smart one’ etc. And by making a change we risk losing our identity (GULP). The question to ask yourself here is, how attached are you to an old identity? Because if you are willing to grow, you are going to need to welcome in that NEW identity and start giving less of a s*it what that person from high school thinks. (Yes, this is the other most commonly cited fear, what will that person from high school think). Something that we need to remind ourselves here is that most of our schooling career is designed based on proximity (these students of this age within this block radius will all go to school and be colleagues and friends). As you get into your older adult life, life is more by design than proximity. So guess what, if you didn’t fit in your class of 20, you can go CREATE a community that works in a world of unlimited potential.
Which brings me to my next point, the importance of rewriting the narrative. As we step forward into our sparkly, aligned, magical selves, fully trusting in our expression, we need to remember that our self-worth is an INSIDE job. This means, that we cannot let outside voices and forces run the show. If you are feeling kind of ‘funky’ about the weight of other’s opinions, take some time for deep breaths, a meditation or a nature walk and just take some space to remember how you actually really do trust that deep knowing, Write out your why, write out your strengths, write out how you arrived at your decision. And remember, it is only you who truly knows the way forward.
Wishing you clarity, peace and ease.
-Emily
PS. If you constantly find yourself hitting this wall of ‘what do others think’? If you have been really stuck and blah and just not yourself (where did that past sparkly person go?!) If you find yourself repeating limiting beliefs and just not feeling connected to your highest, I can help. As a mindset and life coach I help you to dissolve the blocks that are keeping you feeling unworthy and to step forward with confidence and renewed sparkle. Send me a message @emilyelliot__ on Instagram or emily@themagneticlife.ca on email to set up a discovery call.
